A New Heart

Lately, our church has been singing this one song more and more. I have always loved singing. I love it because it really is my special way to truly proclaim to my Lord just how much I love Him. It gives me joy. This song that we have been singing has a bridge that breaks me every time I sing it..

(Hosanna-Hillsong United)

Heal my heart and make it clean

Open up my eyes to the things unseen

Show me how to love like you have loved me

Break my heart for what breaks yours

Everything I am for your kingdoms cause

As I walk from earth into Eternity

The lines that especially get me are "show me how to love like you have loved me," and "break my heart for what breaks Yours."


These are the things that I have been praying for...and the Lord has answered.


I realized tonight, that I am not content. I yearn for more. Not more as in material things or more babies or for our own house. But, for a heart that can no longer watch people in need without doing something.


I have been prideful. I have made friends that I think are 'good enough' for my friendship. Some friend... Jesus was opposite of that. He befriended the outcasts, the lepers, the tax collectors. And, He was ridiculed for it. Maybe that's what has terrified me...til now. I don't care. I don't care what people think of me, (or at least I'm on my way to that sort of thinking). I can no longer pretend not to see what is really out there.

I know I'm not really in a position to befriend people that are in need, since I'm always home. But, that doesn't have to stop me. I was talking to Ja about this tonight, and we have thought of a few things. Some of those are buying pairs of socks/shirts/pants/blankets/toys that we see are on sale and taking them to the shelters we know of.

I want to be an example to my kids. I want them to grow up having a heart for the hurt and needy. I want them to see us give. I want their Christmases to be different-to be a time to give to those around us rather than to ourselves. I want them to see the love of Christ through Ja and me
I'm ready. I'm ready for my hands to get dirty; for my heart to break.

Life isn't about being happy. Life is about giving glory to our Maker.

Believe me, every man has his secret sorrows
which the world knows not-
and often times we call a man cold,
when he is only sad.
~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow