Pity Party

A couple days ago, while driving home, we were stopped at a red light. I casually glanced over to the right at the shiny black suv that had pulled up beside me. It took only three seconds. Three seconds for me to have a complete pity party for myself.
The gal driving was adorable. Adorable as in completely put together. She was applying lipstick while waiting for the light to change, and I thought, when was the last time I put lipstick on? In the mornings, I contemplate whether I should put the mascara on-yes, if we are going someplace. And, the supermarket doesn't count. I watched her put her lipstick on for a second, which I suppose makes me a creep, before I glanced to her back seat checking for car seats. Zero. Of course. That's why she looks like a complete person. I saw her shiny, and I do mean shiny hair straightened and done, and then did the comparison to my own hair that hadn't been washed in four days and once again pulled into a messy bun on the top of my head because I can't bring myself to spend a measly eighteen dollars for a haircut that I desperately need from supercuts!
And, while I'm basically oogling this poor woman I notice that she is dressed nicely too. I glance down at myself. Yoga pants again. Sneakers, nothing cute or special. And once again the light gray sweatshirt that ties because it's the only one that fits now, sprinkled with goldfish crumbs that have fallen out of my mouth while shoveling in handfuls of those horribly addicting fish while my four year old reminds me, yet again, not to eat the entire giant box that is resting on the console next to me.
After truly looking at myself, I realized, sexiness has gone completely out the window. I thought back to when Ja and I were first together. I would get gussied up, hair done, makeup done, waiting anxiously to see him again, butterflies in my stomach. And, all of a sudden I was sad. Sad that that part of my life was over. That it takes me an eternity to get ready nowadays, trying to do my makeup with one hand while I brush my toddlers teeth with the other. Realizing that the insane amount of time I spend in the bathroom is not because I'm doing my hair now, trying out one of the many beautiful hair styles that I have pinned on pinterest and have yet to try, but because I'm wiping someone else's butt. Yep, like I said, real big pity party.
And, then all of a sudden, I heard tiny voices in the back seat. I saw two little hands reached across the length of the back seat so they could hold hands. And, I smiled.
We made our way to Ja's school and as I saw him walk towards the car with his big smile just for me, I thought, I'm the luckiest girl in the world. I imagine that the gal in the black suv is wanting exactly what I have. Forget the clothes, the nice hairdo, the perfect complexion, I've got a pretty wonderful life.